With the world at her feet, Kate Cross, the England bowler, seemed to have everything going for her as an international cricketer. She was a record breaker. She had become one of the first 18 women to be awarded professional contracts by the the ‘England and Wales Cricket Board’.
” I didn’t do anything for three days. I just slept and cried.”
In her first detailed interview (with the BBC) she tells how she broke down at an England training camp, the pressure of having a sportsman for a dad and why she and team-mate Sarah Taylor ended up in a shouting match.
In June 2016, England were playing Pakistan in a one-day international at New Road, Worcester. England head coach Mark Robinson told all the players to invite their families along to watch.
“It was the first time my family had seen me play cricket, all of them together in one place. I remember being at third man, I’d bowled an over and it didn’t go very well. I put my sunglasses on and I had tears in my eyes. I remember thinking, I’m so out of my depth; I don’t know what I’m doing here.”
“It was just this sense of emptiness. It’s quite hard to describe if you’ve not been through it, and it probably does sound quite dramatic to people who have never felt it. I’m quite an energetic person – I’m quite bubbly – but I couldn’t get myself out of bed.
I was waking up in the morning thinking, what am I doing? I’m getting out of bed for nothing really. I’m not enjoying my cricket. I don’t have a job other than that, so I didn’t really know what my purpose was when I was getting out of bed.”
Cross’s father, David, was a professional footballer from 1969 to 1987, and won the FA Cup with West Ham in 1980. Her brother, Bobby, is the manager of Lancashire Thunder, while her sister Jenny is the club’s physio.
After two years out of the game, Cross made her England comeback in a one-day international against New Zealand at Grace Road, Leicester in July.
“I remember saying to myself this summer, I just want to enjoy my cricket. It’s something that I’ve loved doing from such a young age, that I don’t want to waste some of the best years of my life worrying about stats and all the things that come with being a professional sportsperson.
It was a really special moment for me at Leicester when I came back and played in that game. I rang my mum and dad the day before and said; ‘Are you busy tomorrow afternoon because I’m going to be playing cricket for England again?’.
We all had a big hug at the end because we genuinely didn’t think I would play for England again. It was just a really special moment for us all as a family.
My brother and sister are very protective of me and they’ve only ever wanted to see me happy – and for them to see me playing cricket but with a smile on my face again was extra special for everyone.”